17-year-old singer Billie Eilish just got raw and real about her struggles as she graces the cover of Rolling Stone.
Eilish has become one of the most prominent artists in the music industry of this generation. Now, the “Bad Guy” hitmaker is giving us an in-depth look at how she dealt with anxiety and depression for almost her entire life.
The singer recalled her experience with dancing and how joining a dance company took a toll on her self-esteem.
“That was probably when I was the most insecure,” She says, noting there were a lot of “really pretty girls” in the dance company she joined. “I wasn’t as confident. I couldn’t speak and just be normal. When I think about it or see pictures of me then, I was so not OK with who I was.”
“At dance, you wear really tiny clothes,” she continues. “And I’ve never felt comfortable in really tiny clothes. I was always worried about my appearance. That was the peak of my body dysmorphia. I couldn’t look in the mirror at all.”
Later she revealed that a debilitating hip injury forced her out of dancing when she was 13 and it led to depression.
“It sent me down a hole,” she shares. “I went through a whole self-harming phase — we don’t have to go into it. But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain.”
“It’s funny, when anyone else thinks about Billie Eilish at 14, they think of all the good things that happened,” she notes, she rose to fame in the music industry after she quit dance. “But all I can think of is how miserable I was. How completely distraught and confused. Thirteen to 16 was pretty rough.”