Nikki Bella admits that she still cries about her ex-fiance John Cena and still questions breaking up with him.

While the WWE wrestler is currently moving forward with her life as she is now in a relationship with dancer Artem Chigvintsev, she still isn’t completely over her long-time love.

Bella got very candid about the split while she was answering a fan who asked her about on The Bellas Podcast. The reality star revealed how she deals with the painful breakup and the reason behind why she chose to leave her relationship with the wrestler-turned-actor.

“You really have to do the work on yourself,” she started off. “You really, truly have to love yourself and every day dedicate something to you that is making you better. You also have to let yourself cry. That’s one thing my life coach helped me a lot with because I still, you guys, get days that I cry about my breakup, but we were together a long time.”

Bella shares that crying was a part of her healing process saying, “So when those tears come, I don’t try to hold them in. I find a quiet place and I cry.”

As for the reason behind their split, Bella reveals that Cena’s acting career took a heavy toll on their relationship and how she “towards the end started to become a miserable person.” The star admits that distance and their time apart wasn’t really something she was down for. She then concludes that she will “never stop” loving the actor.